Prizes and Prizewinners!

Prizes are being awarded for top five assassins, top two cops, first kill, and most creative kill. If you have specific questions about how the money is being split up, contact me.

Top Five Assassins
1st Place: Reed Fischer aka "Fisch Bitch"
2nd Place: Andrew Hall aka "The Terminator"
3rd Place: Shelby Ullrich aka "Blossom"
4th Place: Olivia Chase aka "Eggroll"
5th Place: Dani Swaiman aka "Dani Slayman"

Top Two Cops
Top Cop: Niels Biehler aka "N.B." (with ten cop kills)
Second Place Cop: Dennis Dadashev aka "King Goober" (with nine cop kills)

First Kill: Chase Browdie aka "Kira" on Robert Danaher

Most Creative Kill: Shelby Ullrich aka "Blossom" on Chase Browdie

Honorable Mention Assassins:
6th Place: Chase Browdie aka "Kira"
7th Place: Emma DeRubeis aka "Bubbles"
8th Place: Laura Cross aka "Shaniqua"
9th Place: Aaron Blaser aka "The Poet"
10th Place: Chandler Luhowskyj aka "Cheech"

WINNERS: Get in touch with me via facebook or text so I can get you your prize money. I can meet with people after school at my house to give out the money because I am uncomfortable bringing so much money to school.

If anyone wants to dispute any of the awards, contact me.

Thank you to everyone who played. It was a great year.

- Sid Gopinath

RIP FINAL KILL!! Andrew Hall aka "The Terminator"

Victory.

Thanks to all those who helped me along the way. Thanks to the Powerpuff Girls, and the Soap Boys for making this year an entertaining battle of the alliances. Thanks to WWIII for eliminating almost everyone ever put on the Wanted List. And finally, thanks to the great Sidharth Darius Gopinath, without whom, none of this would have been possible.

RIP D-TAG! Shelby Ullrich aka "Blossom"

Couldn't let her leave town without something to remember me by :P

RIP COP TAG! Olivia Chase aka "Eggroll"

I was going to a party with my friends. I knew that Olivia was good friend with the person that was hosting the party so I brought a spoon with me in case she would show up. I made sure that the person hosting let me in so I could be able to kill who ever showed up without people saying nobody let me in. In the basement I saw a squirt gun on the floor next to a table so I just kicked it under the table. After a while Olivia came and walked down the steers and tried to find the squirt gun but I just stabbed her. She said that nobody let me in and said the kill doesn't count but she talked to the person that was hosting the party and she said she actually let me in. So Olivia agreed about me killing her and was able to enjoy the party and know that she won a 100 dollars for 4th place.

France: 10

Russia: 9

I guess this war is done .... For the first time in world's history France won a war

RIP COP TAG! Dani Swaiman aka "Dani Slayman"

She showed up to a grad party. She had it coming. 

RIP Chase Browdie aka "Kira"

After weeks of stalking, the Powerpuff Girls knew Chase's every move. They knew that his Friday pizza ritual would be a prime opportunity to attack. The Girls watched his house for about an hour until they saw him pick up his cordless house phone to call his favorite pizza joint. Chase placed an order and the Powerpuff Girls were ready. One of the Girls called Dominos to change the location of the delivery to a nearby hideout. For some reason they bought it. Once the pizza arrived, the transfer was made. The assassin, clothed in Domino fashion, took the large pepperoni pizza from the secret location to Chase's house. Disguised as a delivery boy, the Girl stepped out of the decoy car, shuffled to the front door, and rang the doorbell. Chase peeked from behind a curtain to search the area for any threat, but only saw a trusty Dominos boy. Chase opened the door and was greeted by a swift stream of water to the chest. You are welcome for the free pizza!

Powerpuff Girls: 9 Mojo Jojo: 2

RIP: Bubbles, she was the joy and the laughter

Eliminations! Round 4

No eliminations this round.

RIP COP TAG! Emma DeRubeis aka "Bubbles"

This smokin' hot babe gets lured outside of her abode into the dark. Little does she know, she was about to become extremely wet. Super Soaked Dat Hoe ;) 

RIP Marlee Gotlieb aka "Matzah"

My longtime associate, for the sake of the story we will call her Robert danaher/ rob d. Ledge/ rob dan bum. Anyways I was meeting the silver chained (wo)man at her house this fine morning to team up on an unnamed target. But once I got to rob dan bums house i realized that I had not had the breakfast of champions but luckily rob d ledge has some wheaties for me to fuel my exploits and it was then that the perfect opportunity presented itself. I politely asked for a spoon, minding my p's and q's and little did foolish Rob Dan know this was her death wish. once she handed me the spoon, I returned the favor with a strong blow to the chest. Domo origato mr. Roboto. Rip matzah. You have not died in vain.

RIP Laura Cross aka "Shaniqua"

heard about the mcdonalds fiesta and shot her in the back of the head.

Eliminations! Round 3

No eliminations this round!

RIP D-TAG! Aaron Blaser aka "The Poet"

The red phone echoed throughout the Powerpuff Girls’ hideout; the mayor was calling to report a town emergency. He said one of their own was in trouble and the Girls needed to act quickly. Aaron had attacked one of the Girls, but he knew it was the wrong one. It was Aaron’s last chance, it was now or never. When the Girls arrived on scene, a duel was declared. Light saber in hand, the assassins were ready for a battle of a lifetime. Combat lasted approximately seventeen minutes, ending with a gruesomely picturesque scene. Only one of the assassins could rise to the occasion and, of course, it was one of the Powerpuff GIrls.

Powerpuff Girls: 8 Mojo Jojo: 1

RIP D-TAG! Chandler Luhowskyj aka "Cheech"

and this is how two gentleman conduct business -Madoff style

RIP D-TAG! Rachel Dieter aka "T-Nak Attack"

Word got to me that my target wanted to surrender, so we arranged for a meeting. I rolled up to her house on some chrome 22's and hopped out armed and ready. I heard the faint sound of gospel music coming from her room on the second floor of the house, and I started to climb a tree that overlooked her bedroom window. About halfway up I thought to myself, something is not kosher here. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mr. Wahl jump out from behind a big messy bush. It was a set up, but i remained calm. Dousing him with the sweet holy water from my gun, I proceeded upwards to the holy land. I climbed until I became level with her open bedroom window. She turned around in surprise and began to beg for forgiveness, but she should have been praying for some safety from my off brand super soaker. After being set up, I was not in a very forgiving mood. I quickly mumbled a "Hail Mary" and crucified her on the spot with my water gun. Domi Origato Mr. Roboto

Eliminations! Round 2

These people didn't have the required two kills and were eliminated. Too bad, they made it pretty far.


Andy Herman aka "Governor Swag"
Ketrin Vinokur aka "Black Panther"

RIP COP TAG! Will Crandell aka "Iron Will"

He went out of the movie theater and i got him 


France 9 
Russia 9

RIP COP TAG! Ryland Dorshow aka "Mace Windu"

The homie gave up and I just spooned his bitch ass


Russia-9
France-8

RIP COP TAG! Brianna Morris aka "Blue Ivy"

I knew she went to her grandmas so i waited at her house until she came back home and killed her


France 8
Russia 8

RIP D-TAG! Jon Zierden aka "Budy Rhino"

He surrendered himself to me and I bought him a candy bar.

RIP COP TAG! Cami Hall aka "Wontonofdoom"

I did it with love...

RIP COP TAG! Joe Peck aka "Peckerhead"

Today during lunch

France 7

Russia 8

RIP Travis Petron aka "Yano - Paperboy"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1I4P3umnzk&feature=youtube_gdata_player

RIP COP TAG! Ian Jordan aka "Hi"

Me and my mother were going on nightly stroll down to the local Coldstone just to have some delicious ice cream (coffee with heath if anyone cared) But before we had walked in I had spotted Ian with some of his lady friends walking out of coldstone and I stormed in coldstone screaming for a spoon. After getting the spoon I run after him on mainstreet tagging him and screaming "YOU'RE OUT"

Russia- 8

France- 6

RIP Yasmine Aboubaker aka "Violette Femme"

Killed that mofo.

RIP Roozie Assadi aka "Croozey"

He thought he could pull a fast one on me, but I was faster. BAM dead.

RIP COP TAG! Ryan Hazuka aka "Bubbles"

He was standing in front of me in line at DQ. I borrowed my accomplice's gun. Took aim. Missed... shot an old man. Took aim again. Got em. Watch out MojoJojo, the powerpuff girls are back.

RIP D-TAG! Michael Atkinson aka "Rock Lobster"

Michael's elimination was near,
Thus his desperation was becoming quite clear.
A trap I knew must be set,
So he and my accomplice met.
He thought he was going to make me dead,
But in the end I shot him in the head.
Afterwards he did threaten,
That he would come after me and my accomplices with a real weapon.


RIP lobster

RIP COP TAG! Daniel Kim aka "Honey Dew"

Replied to my chat on facebook thinking that is target lived by me so he came over and turned off his car and i opened the door and got him with my mighty spoon. night night ling ling 

Russia-7

France-6

RIP D-TAG! Jacob Rabichev aka "The Dark Vodka"

I overheard where he was going for lunch and I met him there.

RIP COP TAG! Jacob Gredvig aka "A Piece of Tofu"

He went out to lunch and I was feeding him his bean froms his chipotle burrito and I spooned him a spoonful of beans to his torso


Russia - 6
France- 6

RIP Bridget Bennett aka "DogFace"

Sock'em bopper to the face.

RIP Sarah Hedberg aka "S-Cat"

My anonymous source, for the sake of the story we'll call them Griff Woodyard, called me with urgent tones echoing through Griff's hollow, uncircumsiced voice. My target was exiting the party, like chinese food through my system. When the word hit me I scurried over on my chinese bound feet to my targets house. I waited outside my eyessquinting, like normal, to adjust to the darkness that enveloped me. I snuck a peak from my cover and I caught her parents eyeing me like I eye some fresh chicken fried rice. But they wouldn't tell. Once my target arrived home I stepped out of my cover and soaked her in soy sauce. Domi Origato Mr. Roboto.

RIP COP TAG! Lisa Persson aka "Bomb Voyage"

She didnt think she was on the wanted list and came to the party and i sniped that ho

Russia-5

France-6

RIP COP TAG! Tasha Ackerman aka "Bonquiqui"

You also came to party taking the risk of getting killed and ya did

Russia-4

France-6

RIP COP TAG! Quinn Anderson aka "Queezy"

You come to a party and take the risk of dying and get killed


Russia-3
France-6

Eliminations! Part 1

Clever codenames couldn't stop these five from being eliminated for not having the required one kill by today.

Colin Baxter aka "Baxtabber"
Jon Roed aka "Roed Kill"
Sarah Benton aka "ben10"
Sarah Whisler aka "Taylor Swift"
Simon Zucker aka "The Zman"

RIP Thomas Bady aka "Tom-Cat"

So what had happen was, he got off da bus and he had a surgery the week before so he was on crutches and couldn't run. I walked at him saying I'm sorry man, but I gotta. He let me shoot him, then we walked him to the door to his townhouse and talked for awhile. And then we left. The end.

Powerpuff Girls: 6 Mojo Jojo: 2 

RIP D-TAG! Cayle Wendorf aka "Cayledorf"

It was an ominous evening in Townsville. The girls could sense trouble brewing as the target approached Living Waters Cafe, no weapon in hand. They knew that this was their chance to kill the target that had been causing chaos in the town. With guns in hand, The Girls hid in plain sight to wait for the perfect opportunity to kill the target. A grueling battle ensued which cost the lives of four innocent citizens. In the end, only one Girl remained, locked down with the the target. The stand-off continued until The target confessed the truth; he was Mojo Jojo's evil minion but no longer wanted to be evil. The target proceeded to share that his father, the Evil Dr.Spivey created him to be that way. But the honorable target was giving it up forever. Townsville will forever respect your courage and chivalry. So ended the greatest battle of all time.

Powerpuff Girls:6 Mojo Jojo:1

RIP COP TAG! Miranda Hilgers aka "Randi Pants"

I sniped her with my Jedi skills.

RIP Melana Bell aka "BGC"

After two weeks of consistently following her after school and her never leaving campus, I convinced a friend to give me her address on the premise she would be eliminated tonight. Couldn't have been easier.

RIP COP TAG! Corbin Gyswyt aka "Gizzie"

As she was lured into my brothers house I had waited or her by his door and she got spooned. Bye (

RIP COP TAG! Elise Williamson aka "Beezy"

As she doesn't have 4th block, I had seen her outside and didn't realize what she was doing as she was wearing her white tshirt. I went up to her with my super soaker and soaked that bitch. She was able to win the white tshirt contest but she can't win. Everything. You're dead!

RIP D-TAG! Linette Maeder aka "Bananaface"

Her teammates honestly thought they were recruiting me to the ultimate team. Little did they know they were feeding me perfect details of Linette's whereabouts. Thanks, ladies :)

RIP Anika Bach aka "Piece of Ship"

She wanted a duel. We agreed to rules i honored them (for what kind of man am i without my honor). After the duel she proceeded to slap me (do not ask me why i do not try to find logic within the chambers of the human heart). She wanted a duel, i gave her one. 

RIP COP TAG! Adam Tarshish aka "Tarsh"

Adam and I were heading to the same social gathering.  He was defenseless while he had a plate of food in one hand and a drink in the other.  I saw him walking down the flight of porch steps and took little effort to put a bullet through his heart.

RIP D-TAG! Jake Morrow aka "Tiny Sea Warrior"

I had already stopped several of his attempts to kill me when I was told he was ready to surrender. Sure enough, he was waiting in his front yard as I soaked him from the street.

RIP Matt Maagard aka "Mr. Micah"

I was hiding behind his house when my apprentice pulled up into his driveway with the music blasting so I could hear them coming, she has been driving him home after practice lately to reduce suspicion ;) I ran around the side of the house while he was grabbing his bag from the the back seat of the car and I ATTACKED!!!

RIP Veronica Mestad aka "Vanessa"

It was another classic kill. My accomplice and I hid outside her house. After a short chase, I shot her.

RIP COP TAG! Laura Morine aka "The Elephant Rider"

Me and my accomplice made Laura and Nick duel because they needed to do something to not be eliminated on friday. Nick had Laura and they both had a squirt gun. We proposed a spoon duel but it took a long time so I just chose to kill them both with my two spoons. Spoons are actually the best. Kill 5 and 6 baby.

RIP COP TAG! Nick Eagon aka "The Lone Wolf"

Me and my accomplice made Laura and Nick duel because they needed to do something to not be eliminated on friday. Nick had Laura and they both had a squirt gun. We proposed a spoon duel but it took a long time so I just chose to kill them both with my two spoons. Spoons are actually the best. Kill 5 and 6 baby.

RIP Malia Elmeer aka "Malaria"

At Caribou you were caught,

studying... 

or so you thought
but all that you did learn

Is how gullible you are

As I killed you walking to your car 

Sucks to suck......

RIP COP TAG! Alex Cain aka "Tighteyez"

Thank gosh rugby practices are not safe! Kill number 4 baby

RIP COP TAG! Ed Koleski aka "Herbert Spencer"

Oh, dear little Ed made the mistake of taking a leisurely stroll with man's best friend. After realizing this daily habit, I made plans to assail him while Fido was getting a walk. Oh Eddy, please beware of trees next time, for they hold more than just wood. After a little surprise and a little bath, dear Eddy was no more...One Man Army

RIP D-TAG! Taylor Lee aka "Llamalicious"

On my way home from school, I noticed there was a mysterious car parked in my neighborhood, it looked a lot like my assassin's accomplice's car.  So I drove around and it was indeed.  Taking many precautions, I dashed to my garage door, input the code and, like clockwork, Taylor popped out from where she had tried to tag me before.  But I was ready.  I sprayed her and that was the end of it.  Remember, Taylor, living well is the greatest revenge.

RIP D-TAG! Marra Clay aka "Berta"

Marra was caught in an inevitable trap. The Powerpuff Girls called up the innocent assassin and told her of a setup for her target. Thrilled with the idea of making her first kill, Marra’s enthusiasm clouded her judgement and she decided to trust the clan. The Girls met her at a sketchy location to exchange information... but as soon as she saw the light saber, Marra knew it was a trick. Holding only a miniscule spoon, she fearlessly fought for her life. After an Oscar-worthy chase scene and some intense hand to hand combat between her and one of the Girls, the plastic spoon flew from Marra’s grasp. She was swiftly stabbed with a light saber, and her career as an assassin abruptly ended. The Powerpuff Girls: just fighting crime and forces of evil! (;

Powerpuff Girls: 5 Mojo Jojo: 1

RIP D-TAG! Jaylene Wallick aka "Beardy"

After long weeks of stalking the Wallick household, receiving threats, and even once getting stranded in the middle of nowhere, Jaylene made the rookie mistake of going out on a public date. An informant revealed her location and The Girls knew that Jaylene was theirs. Jaylene’s target, along with her accomplice, walked into the Golden Nugget and simply shot the weaponless victim. Her only reply was, “Kay.” Townsville, you are safe from yet another villain.

Powerpuff Girls: 4 Mojo Jojo: 1
RIP: Buttercup; she was the toughest fighter.

RIP COP TAG! Josh Gallop aka "Yoda"

Sophomores need to learn to be on their grind 24/7 or get to steppin'. Lil homie was posted up at dinner with his mommy and daddy so I kindly asked my host for a spoon. I acquired my utensil/weapon and with a stealth maneuver my target was soon stabbed and sat there stricken with grief and anguish as he ate his kosher meal with the fam.
more to come ;)

RIP COP TAG! Katie Larson aka "Mad Catter"

She wanted to go to chipotle for lunch. She basically asked me to kill her. We went there, I killed her, she got mad, she punched me and didn't wanna drive me to school unless I said I didn't kill her. But that's not how the game works. You've got to be honest. Kill number 3 (it's just the beginning)

RIP Becca Woodstra aka "Blonde Bitch"

A worthy adversary if ever there was

But one of us had to win simply because

That's how it works, this assassin's game

One person's loss is another one's gain

She done got supersoaked.

RIP COP TAG! Drew Northrup aka "Drew Jon"

One.

RIP COP TAG! Roy Grossmann aka "Dragon Face"

My target was cheerful and carefree

little did he know he soon wouldn't be happy

As i sprang out from behind a tree

and shot him in the chest. Hehehe

For your health ya dingus

RIP COP TAG! Eleanor Plaunt aka "Snort"

She was returning something borrowed.
I jumped out of a moving car.
She came at me with a ladle.
I shot her in the chest.
Sorry

RIP COP TAG! David Dotterweich aka "DJ Jewboy"

Spooned the bitch

RIP COP TAG! Nate Ellis aka "Senor Guapo"

Spooned the bitch

RIP COP TAG! Dennis Dadashev aka "King Goober"

Yuup Dennis was Juan's neighbor that I made come out to kill them both . Next year maybe Dennis!

RIP COP TAG! Juan Montero aka "L1ONELMESSI"

Juan came and picked me up so I could help him to kill the person that had him so I went to his house but I knew that one of his neighboor was also on the wanted list so I thought that I should do a double kill. We met with the other he came out and I killed them both with my 2 spoons . The easiest kills I have ever done . What a good start to the day.

RIP Carly Coats aka "Awktopus"

I made a few attempts at stalking my victims house, but my target was playing it safe and was never to be found. I realized she was going to be a tough target to kill, and there were only short windows of time where I could go in for the kill, so I decided to lay back for awhile. But on Friday, 45 minutes before my shift, I had gotten a call from one of my connections telling me that if I went at that moment, there would be a good chance I could see my target. I raced to her house and parked across the block, after some sneaking around, I found my target, her friend, and her cute little dawg walking down the block away from me. Luckily for me, right as I decided to charge from behind, a bus drove by to cover my footsteps, and it was too late for my sneaky target to escape this time. She saw me and started to run, only to reach her side door too late. If it wasn't for her meddling dog, she may have made it. Kudos for fighting to your last dying breath!

"Don't drop the soap..." - Beware of the Soap Boys.

RIP Mike Newcomer aka "Kim Jong Il"

It was a last minute decision, but we pulled it off beautifully.  I had a couple of my best men with me, and of course, my ninja-jedi acquaintance.  He's crazy.  Stay away from him.  Any way, we rolled up to my targets street, but parked where no car could be seen.  My ninja-jedi acquaintance ran and hid in a bush, and I hid against the house, near the door.  I waited as my two men, who shall remain unnamed, rang the doorbell.  One wielded a dangerous spoon.  When the target came to the door, my men challenged him to a duel.  Eventually, they got him outside.  I pounced, shooting him in the back.  The shot was not fatal.  My target bolted into the night, and I chased him.  Just then, my ninja-jedi jumped out of the bushes and began chasing my target.  This move proved to be effective psychological warfare.  It left my target scared and confused.  He continued running, however.  Eventually, I gunned him down from behind.  It was really cool, like something you would see on cops and stuff.

RIP John Pass aka "Jungle Fever"

I waited outside my targets house. Bladder full of urine. Heart full of vengeance. Water gun also full of urine. My eyes darted across the bleak landscape until,  in the distance, I caught sight of a blue dodge suv. My targets preferred mode of transportation. I darted to the wall, adjacent to the garage. Heart pounding harder than a punch from Marcus levesseur. My target pulled into the garage and I inched out from my protective cove until I made eye contact with my targets mother. How could I ever have the heart to look into the eyes of a mother and kill her child!?!?! It did not matter though. She pretended she did not see me, obviously wishing her child to an impending death. And that's when i ran into the open. Yelling at the top of my lungs and shot the mammas boy. (water gun did not actually contain urine)

RIP Sam Doyle aka "Bannana Man"

Unsuspecting, he walked in the door.

While thoughts of ice cream danced in his head.

He turned and the bullet hit the floor.

Only after rendering him dead.

And with this his plan was "foyled"

Rest in peace dear Sam Doyle(d)

RIP D-TAG! Benji Mosow aka "Little Papi"

Even after he swore he was unarmed, he pulled a nerf gun from his waistband.  I came out victorious.  


-Beware of the Soap Boys

RIP William Jones aka "Will.I.Am. ~ Dead.U.R."

He came out his front door and I darted out of my accomplice's car door. He didn't see or hear me running behind him and when he did it was too late. 

RIP D-TAG! Alec Dewitz aka "Dewey"

Young Alec thought he was being sneaky when he rang my doorbell and was "picking up homework" from my room. Luckily, my friend and I heard the doorbell and I sprinted into my parent's room. When he walked into my room and saw my friend and not me, he was extremely confused and so I charged at him with my water gun. Death by water. BETTER LUCK NEXT YEAR :D <3

RIP Isaac Svebakken aka "The Swede"

After a couple encounters this one was finally a success.  Sprayed with the 1/8 of a tank I had left in my gun.  He was a very respectable target.  


-Beware of the soap boys. (Don't drop the soap)

RIP Jesse Ewaldt aka "Wall-E"

sliced his throat with a spoon. it was well worth the awkward car ride that followed.

RIP Tristan Herzog aka "Ra's al Ghul"

I had been stalking my target for the past week and a half. First of all it was hard to determine which house he would be at, because according to my sources, he was listed under two different residences. I checked out both houses ahead of time. I also found his phone number on facebook and got different friends to leave him voicemails in different languages to throw him off, but I don't think he knows that...anyways, I waited outside of his house for 3 mornings, seeing if he would walk to the bus. Unfortunately, the first two mornings, his mom was his accomplice in him dodging my attack, and he was driven to the bus stop. I backed off because he was too aware of my presence. On the morning of April 25th, I waited again outside of his house, giving it one last shot. I did not attempt to conceal my identity as I waited to hear the garage door open, ready to spring into action. Then I heard a door open and I knew I was in luck. I ran out from behind the house and started to chase my target as he walked towards the bus. He saw me right away and was prepared. A pretty short battle ensued. Finally I shot him and it was all over, and I was the last one standing... LIVE IN FEAR ASSASSINS 2012

RIP D-TAG! Zack Johnston aka "Lunesta"

My accomplice, Bob, was around my work and was worried and had a gut feeling that she should drive around my work to make sure everything was safe for me to leave, but then had noticed Zack was waiting outside for me to leave. She had texted me alerting me of the assassin outside, however, I didn't read it. Luckily, my coworker had been walking in front of me and ended up being my sheild. After he had missed multiple times trying to assassinate me, I luckily made it to my car to get my gun. I opened the door, and it was over for him.

Hasta la vista, baby.

RIP D-TAG! Billy Lewis aka "Batman"

Young Billy heard that I would be at Chipotle.  Young Billy went to Chipotle.  Young Billy got blasted.

Requiescat in peace

RIP D-TAG! Jaclyn Kueny aka "JQ"

Knowing Jaclyn was attempting to kill her target on this gorgeous spring night, and knowing her target was attempting to kill me on this gorgeous spring night, I preemptively killed her target, stuck around for a few minutes, and killed her as well! Heeheehee

RIP Kade Helseth aka "Zalakhistan"

He figured out I had him at about the same time that I learned I had him thanks to a certain "friend," and after days of truces and veiled threats, i just spooned him in the chest while he was in my car.  

RIP D-TAG! Leah Chase aka "Buttercup"

After some hardcore creeping, I discovered Leah was a member of the very prestigious Eden Prairie Premier Soccer League. Unfortunately for her, their website happens to disclose practice fields and schedules. After waiting a short while, Leah walked out of her car with a squirt gun and begins chatting with her teammates in the parking lot. I sprinted out of nowhere and vaporized her via Hydrogen Dioxide....

RIP Peter Kramer aka "Special Agent Dale Pooper"

Peter was a tricky target, but thanks to my lovely assistant, Peter had nothing on us. Patiently waiting outside his house, my trusty side kick asked to duel him. Peter made the right decision to decline, and went back inside. Being stealthy, Peter tried to sneak around the house and shot my side kick. In the end, Peter got super soaked. He had a nice cat though.

RIP D-TAG! Amanda Voydetich aka "Voydemort"

My friend had a plan, it worked.  Nuff said

 

We are Omega

RIP D-TAG! Aaron White aka "Applesauce"

I watched with an accomplice as he arrived home from school. After he made it inside safely, we decided to call for backup. We came back to the house a little bit later to find him playing basketball outside. In the end, he wasted all of his nerfs on a decoy, hopped the neighbor's fence, and still didn't escape. 

RIP Brian Esch aka "Hobo"

After enjoying some lovely choral music with my accomplice, I waited for my target outside.  Once he nonchalantly exited the building, I tagged him with my trusty spoon and said, "assasined."  As easy as stealing candy from a baby.

RIP Josh Burton aka "Josh B"

On the cloudy Sunday after prom, me and my accomplices went to search for my target. He messed with us for a bit, but then we convinced him to come duel. We arrived at his friend’s yard and saw that there was a decoy with the same afro as my target. Confused, we waited around the house for something to happen. All of the sudden the trunk of the car popped open and out came my target. It was a trap, but I had outsmarted him by making him think that someone else was his target. He began shooting at my assistant (who did not fight back), thinking he would get the kill, when I came up and shot him right in the chest.

Better luck next year pal

RIP Matt Koopmeiners aka "El Diablo"

I waited anxiously until the clock struck 6:02am. I grabbed the spoon I had hidden in the couch and crawled over to lil koopy boy sleeping peacefully with his boo on the floor. I (gently) shoved the spoon in his mouth and he abruptly woke up. Maybe next year, bud!

RIP Rachel Sadowsky aka "Agent 99"

The morning after prom was rather upsetting for Rachel Sadowsky. I walking into the home of Zach Mekler, where my target was staying, and helped myself to a spoon in his kitchen to use as my weapon. As I walk down the stairs, I find Rachel just looking rather lovely! I walk over to her to say hello, but instead of a handshake or a hug.. I decided to kill her with the one and only Mekler spoon. So long Rachel, so long. RIP

RIP Josh Baldvins aka "Black Fysh"

I shot him in the face

RIP Alexandra Johnson aka "Pocahontas"

I woke up feeling rather sassy and spunky this morning.  I knew where my target had spent the previous night with her prom group.  Loading my water gun I was off to the house to end her journey through assassins.  Getting out of my car I was greeted by the prommers leaving the house.  Trying to act casual I asked how their night was, but they knew what was up. While the friends of my target screamed at poor Ali, she sprinted back into the house.  I raced across the lawn and straight into the house.  Meeting her in the kitchen she put up a spoon for a spon duel, but she was no match for me with my water gun.  Squirting her a couple times she finally surrendered and told me who her target was.  Walking out of the house with her we casually talked about how our proms were and it was lovely.  Once we were outside all her friends were yelling that I "was not invited in by the homeowner" so I shot her again.   Sorry Al. Love ya girl.

RIP D-TAG! KC Mydra aka "Head Kace"

Post-Prom Drama: Getting capped at 9 in the morning. Sorry KC.

S/O To Mr. Mekler, my accomplice.

RIP Mark Rusciano aka "Roosh"

I lured my target outside, then I spooned him. Bye bye lil marky.

RIP D-TAG! Thomas Falk aka "TFALK"

Happy 4/20 TFalk...

RIP Olivia Harrier aka "Nappy G"

Poor girl was set up by good foreign friend Niels and while sitting in the parking lot of holiday she pulls up right next to me, gets out and might as well had a sign on her back saying please kill me... She got a nice bath

RIP Tyler Klancke aka "Tklanck"

I was just on a casual drive through my target's neighborhood when I saw him walk out of his house with his mother. It was a very sweet sight to see. They proceeded to stroll down his road, unaware this this picturesque scene was about to come to an end. The chirping birds and rustling tree leaves were silenced as his death drew nearer and nearer. My trusty driver had looped around the neighborhood so we were mere yards away from my target. I jumped out of the car and proceeded to blast him with the super soaker. I was considerate and of course made sure to not get Mrs. Klancke wet.

RIP Chris Fuguet aka "The Cuban Missile"

After losing her shoe in a mine field of unnecessary twigs and crunchy leaves, the assassin and her assistant made it safely to the side of the Fuguets’ shed. An old foe, and new friend, frolicked around the house in an attempt to persuade Chris to stop being a pussy and take part in a faux spoon duel. Chris refused to be a man, and hid in his crib until his back up arrived. Luckily, the girls spotted his posse as it trampled through the menacing forest. In confusion, they exchanged a few words, but the posse didn’t understand who the real assassin was. In the end, Chris came out of hiding, and the girls surrounded him. If only Chris had had some Chemical X…

Powerpuff Girls: 3 Mojo Jojo: 0

RIP Jordan Barry aka "The Bear Jew"

As my accomplices set up his older brother, Jordan was too scared to battle so he hid inside his house. When he finally mustered up the courage to come out, he was a good 20 feet above my team on his deck. Luckily, with my super distance water gun, I managed to get a few drops on him, but I guess he didn't think it was enough. My team and I chased him around his neighborhood for a good twenty five minutes. We finally enclosed a circle around him and I shot him. Straight in the chest. There was no denying that he was dead. Nice try, bud. Maybe next year.

RIP Mark Barry aka "Barrysmooth"

After a week of solid stalking (drive bys, work calls, and more), the Powerpuff Girls made their move onto the Barrys’ property. As the decoy walked up the driveway and harmlessly chatted with Mark, the assassin army crawled behind pine trees and miscellaneous bushes. Sadly, Mark had to go get ready to see his girlfriend, and round 1 fell short. Since the Powerpuff Girls never lose hope, they waited outside for round 2. Through the house windows, the girls were admired from afar by Mark's parents. After a long 10 minutes, Mark walked back outside; painfully unaware that his assassin was ready for blood (thankfully he believed they were after his younger brother). When the timing was perfect, the assassin held up her gun and shot him in his heart. Although Mark was in disbelief, he really should have known that the girls are not only made up of sugar, spice, and everything nice.

Powerpuff Girls: 2 Mojo Jojo: 0

RIP Alex Lapp aka "Lil' Lappdance"

It was on this gloomy day that good ole' lil' Lappdance thought he was just stopping by to pick up a book from one of my accomplices, but little did he know trust does not exist in the life of an assassin. He knocked on the door, and on the other side was the death of him, completely invisible. My heart beating fast and my hand on the trigger I couldn't wait a second more wanting myhands tainted with a dirty murder, so as the door opened I unleashed on the poor victim making sure his body was moist. We exchanged handshakes & hugs and he was gone with the wind (and the book). 

"Don't drop the soap" Beware of the Soap Boys.

RIP Marlee Kreitzman aka "As Told By Ginger"

I had some help from a guy, and she took it in the eye.

(literally, the nerf hit her in the eye.) 

RIP Ben Calvert aka "Hebrew Hammer"

He liked a girl
She happened to be my friend,
She set him up
And that was the end of ben

Unfortunately my iPhone was sacrificed in the process :(

RIP Susan McCartney aka "MACPhone"

Oh Susana, sweet little Susan.  Little did she know that she wasn't just counting down the days to getting her braces removed, but she were also counting down the days to her own demise.  By doing my research I found out that she would be getting your braces off today, and with some help from an accomplice I was able to discover the location and time that she would be freed from the metal wires that had long dominated her mouth.  I walked into the orthodontist office not knowing what to expect, but as there was no receptionist to stop me, I decided just to walk back into the office.  The dental hygienists were all confused as to what I was doing, but they pointed me towards my prey.  She was oh so helpless, her mouth wedged open and her braces just waiting to come off.  I quickly stabbed her with my spoon while she lay there in a state of shock and confusion.  Brace-face no more.

RIP D-TAG! Riley Kendall aka "Randy Dandy"

I was chilling at my house, and I heard the doorbell ring. I immediately grabbed my pump action nerf gun, and went to the door. Two figures stood in my doorway. I looked down at the gun in my hand, and I asked what they wanted. "spoon duel?" one of them said, a sheepish grin on his face.

"Actually, I think I'm just going to shoot you." I replied. I grabbed another nerf gun, a maverik, duel wielding the two. I dropped both of my targets with two well placed shots, but to my surprise, my real assailant had sprinted from around the corner, water gun spraying. A set up. I had been stupid, and I needed to act fast. I threw my maverik to the grass, and unloaded my pump, trading shots with him. I heard a click, and I was out. he returned fire, and I dove for the handgun, coming up shooting. A short firefight ensued, and I ended it with a shot to the chest. Don't mess with the best

RIP Shelbie Generous aka "#chicken"

Cut that bitch. 
The good guys are still here.

RIP Niels Biehler aka "N.B."

Au revoir, french boy. 

RIP Lane Haapasaari aka "Haapasaurus"

Woke up this morning, got in my car, drove to his house, hid for 5 minutes, shot him when he walked out. It almost felt too easy, wrong in a way. Like stealing candy from a baby...

RIP Lane, you led a good life.

RIP Will Burnton aka "Pumpkin"

Sugar, spice, and everything nice. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girls... The perfect little girls staked out Will's house immediately after school. Once the target arrived at his abode, the girls were in place. The decoy was immediately spotted and challenged Will to a duel. Hiding in the depths of some nearby brush, the real assassin was ready. As the decoy cornered Will into his yard, he shot his nerf gun, but the bullets fell short. All of a sudden, the assassin took aim and shot down the target. He cried out in agony, "Long live Mojo Jojo!!!"

Powerpuff Girls: 1 Mojo Jojo: 0

RIP Danny Gollin aka "Mark Barry"

After Facebook stalking my target I learned that he plays ultimate frisbee. I pulled into the Lindbergh Center a little while before practice ended. Luckily for me, he had parked right in front of me. Unsuspecting, he got into his car and pulled out. I waited a few seconds and did the same. After following him for a little while he finally parked at Ridgedale mall. Seeing my chance I jumped out of my car an ran after him pumping my water gun. When he was finally in range, I squirted him in the back with a huge grin on my face.

RIP D-TAG! Alli Rolandelli aka "Trixie"

After being invited to breakfast with my wonderful predator and her accomplices, I devised my plan. Knowing I was the prey, I convinced my predator to pick me up. While she was thinking this would be a perfect opportunity to kill me, I had another plan in mind. I lured my predator into my house by texting her that I was running late, and invited her to "just come in." This made her more excited, as she now had an invite into my humble abode, where I might be more vulnerable. Meanwhile, I was hiding behind my front door, sizing up my predator and her accomplices through the peep-hole. As my accomplice, dear old Dad, opened the door for my breakfast crew, I remained hiding. Once they were completely in my house, I jumped out from behind the door. I attacked my predator with my trusty wooden spoon. We all enjoyed a wonderful breakfast without too many hard feelings. Though it was a valiant effort on my predator's part, it turned out to not be enough.

RIP D-TAG! Sachin Rao aka "Chairman Rao"

Beware of the man in the blue garbage can,

head back to your mini-van.

RIP Madeline Braverman aka "Braveheart"

Although the plan was altered,

you faltered,

I took advantage,

and I managed,

to put you in a bandage. 

P.S - am I invited to your breakfast? ;)

RIP Brett Bremer aka "Double B"

Knowng my target had a 3 hour late start I seduced him into a lovely Perkins breakfast with me and my accomplices. My target came unarmed and unprepared so I took advantage of the situation and stabbed him with my extra length wooden spoon. 


"don't drop the soap" beware of the soap boys.

RIP Nick Wahl aka "The Wahlrus"

Never was there a sadder tale

than that of Nick Whale

Out for breakfast this morning

little did he know he'd be mourning

the exit of the assassins game

As I walked into the diner

nothing was finer 

than knowing the time for my first kill had came. 

Boom Headshot. 

RIP Robert Danaher aka "The Legend"

It was a early morning, a little cold but not too bad, when i started out.  I picked up my friend L and we drove to his house. As we drove past his street, we thought someone else was him and probably made that kid shit his pants as we abruptly stopped in front of him. But back to the kill..  We waited by the side of his house for my target to emerge, and finally after waiting for 15 minutes we hear a car approach. His garage door starts to open and i make my move out from my hiding and shoot him before he has a chance to put up a fight.

Welcome to Hopkins Assassins 2012

Hey there,

My name is Sid Gopinath, and I will be running assassins this year!

The game will start on Monday, April 16. Sign-ups will start on March 26 and March 27 and continue for the week after Spring Break.

Tell your friends! I look forward to a great year.